the world through my rose-tinted glasses...my world...

Past vs Present: 0 - 1

My past caught up with me these few weeks... I've met people I've loved before, I've met people I haven't spent time with in a long while, I've done things i've always wanted to do but never had time to within a short span of a few weeks.

We reminisced about the happy memories, talked about our petty squabbles, questioned life, shopped with much vigor, drove through long roads blasting the music...etc.

Yeah, i definitely missed the past. I have always did.

At a point in my life, I missed them so much that I would've given up everything I have got just to dwell in the 'what was.' I didn't dare commit much to the future coz there was always a nagging fear that I would gladly go back to the past if it ever came back.

But... when all the things in my past flooded back into my life in these weeks... I realized... that i didn't miss it as much as i thought i did. Anti-climax! Wahahaha...

I had missed those people terribly once... But only when they came back into my life, did i realize... in my heart, I've already let them go a long time ago.

And knowing that, I finally had a break-through. There's nothing left in the past that I can't let go of anymore. I'm walking on coz i know whatever i want isn't behind me... but ahead.

simply logic? But it took me a long time to realize...and a great loss before i could see it.

Well, i'm going diving tomorrow! There's some apprehension coz I suddenly seem to have an unknown fear of the whole diving experience. Unexplainable since I've always loved it. Somehow, with THAT loss, I seem to have become a rather incomplete individual, having insecurities and fears I had never thought i would have.

*grin* But...i'm gonna go face that fear straight on and 'test the waters' again... who knows what other treasure i'll find when i'm there. :P

posted by dorothy @ 7:38 PM