the world through my rose-tinted glasses...my world...

Words

Some words that struck me in an email...

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone
you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."

________________________________________________________________

Sometimes, such statements make you wanna run a little harder, hold on or out a little longer, squeeze out as much time as possible for spend time with as many loved ones as possible...

I'm such a person. I simply can't bear the thought of losing those important to me, of giving up the excitement of life.

I reckon i don't fear death much (unless it's dying in a painful or freaky way), it's more of the fear of the end of the things that I love which death brings.

There always seem to have so much to do, so many things i wanna try, so much unexplored in my life...and I guess, i'm not ready to lose all that... and maybe i'll never be ready to.

Moving on... As some of you know, i'm in the midst of moving house, and this means loads of clearing outs and packing. One of the more interesting things I had to pack was my box of letters and notes I've accumulated all these years.

I took them up one by one and read them. Laughed over the silly ones, winced over the childish ones (who never had those?), was saddened when I remembered some of the friends i've lost along the way, some i've never put in much effort to keep and smiled as some sweet memories trickled in.

There were also a few written letters that I've never had the chance to send out... be it that i've forgotten to (while looking for the address to send it on to!), was too proud, or just simply lost the opportunity or reason. I re-read those letters and they reminded me of who i was, my thoughts during those times, some rough times I've gone through, some people I've loved a great deal.

But life it is... you move on... you let go...and then you forget. But I'm thankful for those colours in my past and my life, they made me who i am today.

Just a short tribute to the 2 guys I've loved in my life (so far),

I guess I really did love Daniel (my first bf back when i was erm, 20?) at one point in my life according to all the memories detailed in the letters and a 'communication notebook' we shared. But as time faded all those feelings, it's good to know that at the end of it all... what's left behind was sweet.

And I guess I really did love Derrick (my 2nd bf whom I split up with 4 months ago) at another point in my life. I've had loads of fun with him, learnt much from him and had real crazy times with him, laughing too loud, acting like kids...etc. Sometimes, I forget most of that ever happened, sometimes I forget how much i used to love him. But I think that's alright... cos the after-taste was sweet too. The things he has given me and letters he has wrote will keep those memories for me.

Okies, last note on the box of letters...
The one person I've the most letters in my 'outbox' that I've never sent. Last count was 4 written but un-sent cards... and 1 unwritten one which i've bought almost 6 months ago!

And the person is.... *drum roll*... J. J for Jedimasterr. :) you know who you are.

Just wanna thank you for all the times you've been there for me. All the phases you've seen me go through, all the pep-talks, all the times you simply understood without me saying anything, all the 'catch-up' calls, the 'wanna hang out' calls, the 'just dropping in' cards that i've never really told you how much i appreciated... You've really been a gem.

I know that sometimes I get so caught up in my own life that I forget to tell you how much you do mean to me. But you're a friend that brings the meaning of friendship to a much higher level, and honestly, the word 'thanks' will never be enough... (So... if i were a millionaire, i'll give you some too! Just wait... that day'll come!)

Oops, i think i've over-written this time...I'm running late for an appointment...

Pen-ing off now.

posted by dorothy @ 1:58 AM