the world through my rose-tinted glasses...my world...

Bridge Over Troubled Waters

in about a month's time, I'll be considered in the age band of 'mid-twenties'. :( I'm not looking forward to it at all.

As we grow older, there are more responsibilities added to our palate of life, more possibilities to consider, more burden to carry, more fakes smiles to display, more tears to hold in. More disappointment results when expectations of you rise or your expectations of others inflate....etc

And you realize that you simply don't have enough time to catch up with all your friends and family, or enough resources to render assistance to all those that needs help. That's when you have to prioritize... something I find extremely difficult to do.

There are some friends that I will like to spend time with, some people that i will like to help... but finding myself unable to do so simply coz it's not 'politically correct' for me to step in, or it's not 'socially acceptable'. And as an adult, I'm required to understand these boundaries and respect them.

I admit, I don't love all my friends equally and I categorize them in terms of importance in my life. And yes, there are a select few that I'll do more than for anyone else... on the reverse, there are also a few bottom feeders (only 2 of them so far) that I will never make an effort for, simply because they glorify in being weaklings, just so that they can feed on people's kindness... And i detest such types personally.

Side-tracking. I recently met up with a friend I've known since i was 11 (Pri 6). We had a short chat at TCC then walked along the Singapore River before perching ourselves on the bridge near Fullerton to enjoy the breeze and scenery.

In the duration of 14 years we've known each other, just like any friendship, we had our ups and downs. About 6 years ago, we hit a bad patch and from then, we dropped out of each others' lives. At that point in my young gullible life, this person had grown to mean much to me... and it hit me hard. In life, there are a very few points in life that you can describe as turning points... but the end of this friendship was one of them.

Fast-forwarding back to the present... We sat there in the silence, listening to the hum of the bum-boats passing below, the flashes of cameras snapping, the low murmurs of the crowds at the bars nearby...

We spoke about life -the frustrations of work, the choices in life we make, the environment around us, and some other personal matters...etc

I don't know if he understands my reasons for helping someone deemed as 'politically incorrect', but at that point of time...it felt as if he did. And strange enough, that mattered to me.

We joked and laughed about little scandals in life...just like we used to many years ago...but this time, the familiarity wasn't unsettling... it's erm, simply familiar.

As I was on my way home, I picked apart and analysed the meeting I've had with him. Although it was an impromptu meeting more out of convenience than intent, at the end of it all, it was a meaningful one to me.

The frustrations of work, the exhaustion of managing some undesirable emotions in my personal life, the lack of time of juggling work on my new place and friends and family...were all swimming in my mind when I met him.

Yet somehow, at the end of the evening, everything in me calmed down for that while...and I needed that.

Both of us changed much in these years, yet some things just doesn't change.
E.g. we still used the same perfumes we've used since oh so long ago...
He's still as resistance towards his long-time fan...etc.

To sum it all...We're both 'SAME-SAME, BUT DIFFERENT'

Gotta go now... dinner date calls!

posted by dorothy @ 5:43 PM