Live to work, Work to Live?
Sometimes I wonder if we live to work, or work to live?I don't spend 18hrs at work everyday, but there are simply so many things that needs attention, so many people i want to spend time with, so many activities i want to engage in...that at the end of the day, i still don't have enough time for all...
Or most of the time... my mind has wondered off doing the next task before the current one is completed. So I've alot to learn about 'living in the moment'.
This week has been rather stretched as usual, but i seem to be able to survive on less sleep more and more each week. There have been certain changes in work, 1 of my colleagues was promoted to the regional office, while the other one has left the company. So 4 out of 5 of my dept's senior managment team have been promoted and left my department... and i miss them.
Due to my unique position in my department, they were the people I worked with the
most in the department and I'm truly blessed and honoured to be able to work closely with managers of such high calibre. They've taught me a lot and spurred me on many a times, supporting and advising me when necessary.
At times when I pass by their now-empty cubicles, I catch myself unconsciously glancing at their seats, half expecting them to shout a 'hi'. I do miss their presence. True, people come and go, be it in your work environment or your life. But nevertheless, i feel everyone is different and they leave a print in your life that can never be replaced.
I had to attend a training at the Regional Office on Thurs and met up with one of the managers who had been promoted there. She was the one I was most attached to and was exhilirated to see her again. Singapore may not be a big country, but on occasions like this, the distances in Singapore does seem rather wide.
She gave me a lift home and we spoke at length through the traffic jam, sharing her life experiences with me and teaching me what she has learnt...me giving her a gist of what has been going on at work..etc. I miss those conversations...and mostly, I missed her.
She has always struck everyone as a carefree, lucky, fun-loving person, but not many knew how much life has thrown at her. But she always emerges stronger, and from the bottom of my heart, I respect her for everything she is. And somehow wished that I can have some of her resilience. Yes, she mentioned it takes time, and it takes years to mold herself into what she is now... I know all that... yet i can't wait to break out of the walls closing in and breathe again...and emerge stronger.
As i was sorting out some folders on my computer, I found a personal project that i was working on in the last few months of my relationship with D. I felt that my efforts were rather wasted as that project was already 95% complete, but no one will be there to appreciate it. It took such a long time as I could only work on it late at night or on weekends when he's not around...all the time and effort down the drain.
I could've spent every minute of that precious time with my loved ones..that was how great the opportunity cost was. Perhaps in life, there's not much point in planning too much ahead...esp in matters that involve more than just yourself. High risk, low yield.
Hmm...yeah, my brain's shutting down...it's already 3am. But i had a great evening with some of my colleagues...and then at Flower's place with Turtle. I wasn't much of a company there tho coz i stretched out on the couch shortly and fell asleep for most of our night while they ended up entertaining themselves by playing cards! :( Sorry Flower...and Turtle.
Yeah, i should get some sleep... I'm starting to rant and rattle on.
I want to sleep without the dreams for once. It's always good to hope. :P
posted by dorothy @ 2:44 AM
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