Domesticated Me
After 3 late nights out in a row on Thurs, Fri and Sat night... (my earliest day home was at 3.40am!) i fell asleep on my face till 2pm on Sunday...
And what did I do on a lazy Sunday afternoon?
H-O-U-S-E-W-O-R-K!What I did...
1) washed the dishes
2) the laundry
3) changed my sheets
4) packed my room
5) vacuumed the house
6) walked my dog
7) bathed my dog (that's considered housework too!)
8) did my grocery shopping
All that in a span of 4.5hrs! Applause please...
What i left out...
1) Iron my clothes
2) Wash and vacuum the car
And just for the heck of it,
1) I mismatched all my pillow cases and bed sheets and comforter...
2) I did a count on the number of clothes I have in my over-flowing wardrobe.
Pants: 26
Shirts: 34
Skirts: 6
Dresses: 5
Later that evening, I bought a 'break-out' room for my distressed shirts so that they won't get grumpy (and crumpled) in the over-populated space they had...but the wardrobe looks full still after i've emptied the shirts...ARGH! :(
My shirts' break-out room
I finished work relatively early today (at 8pm) so i thought i would start on my ironing... and... it took me 3hours to:
1) iron 8 shirts, 2 skirts and 5 pants
2) Sew on 3 loose buttons and buckles on 3 separate outfit.
So while eating my dinner at 11pm, I've made a resolution...
- No more shopping...the D&D dress that i have yet to source and buy doesn't count.
Being a housewife's really tough... :(
Back-tracking...here are some pics of my night out with Yvonne and friends.
Live to work, Work to Live?
Sometimes I wonder if we live to work, or work to live?
I don't spend 18hrs at work everyday, but there are simply so many things that needs attention, so many people i want to spend time with, so many activities i want to engage in...that at the end of the day, i still don't have enough time for all...
Or most of the time... my mind has wondered off doing the next task before the current one is completed. So I've alot to learn about 'living in the moment'.
This week has been rather stretched as usual, but i seem to be able to survive on less sleep more and more each week. There have been certain changes in work, 1 of my colleagues was promoted to the regional office, while the other one has left the company. So 4 out of 5 of my dept's senior managment team have been promoted and left my department... and i miss them.
Due to my unique position in my department, they were the people I worked with the
most in the department and I'm truly blessed and honoured to be able to work closely with managers of such high calibre. They've taught me a lot and spurred me on many a times, supporting and advising me when necessary.
At times when I pass by their now-empty cubicles, I catch myself unconsciously glancing at their seats, half expecting them to shout a 'hi'. I do miss their presence. True, people come and go, be it in your work environment or your life. But nevertheless, i feel everyone is different and they leave a print in your life that can never be replaced.
I had to attend a training at the Regional Office on Thurs and met up with one of the managers who had been promoted there. She was the one I was most attached to and was exhilirated to see her again. Singapore may not be a big country, but on occasions like this, the distances in Singapore does seem rather wide.
She gave me a lift home and we spoke at length through the traffic jam, sharing her life experiences with me and teaching me what she has learnt...me giving her a gist of what has been going on at work..etc. I miss those conversations...and mostly, I missed her.
She has always struck everyone as a carefree, lucky, fun-loving person, but not many knew how much life has thrown at her. But she always emerges stronger, and from the bottom of my heart, I respect her for everything she is. And somehow wished that I can have some of her resilience. Yes, she mentioned it takes time, and it takes years to mold herself into what she is now... I know all that... yet i can't wait to break out of the walls closing in and breathe again...and emerge stronger.
As i was sorting out some folders on my computer, I found a personal project that i was working on in the last few months of my relationship with D. I felt that my efforts were rather wasted as that project was already 95% complete, but no one will be there to appreciate it. It took such a long time as I could only work on it late at night or on weekends when he's not around...all the time and effort down the drain.
I could've spent every minute of that precious time with my loved ones..that was how great the opportunity cost was. Perhaps in life, there's not much point in planning too much ahead...esp in matters that involve more than just yourself. High risk, low yield.
Hmm...yeah, my brain's shutting down...it's already 3am. But i had a great evening with some of my colleagues...and then at Flower's place with Turtle. I wasn't much of a company there tho coz i stretched out on the couch shortly and fell asleep for most of our night while they ended up entertaining themselves by playing cards! :( Sorry Flower...and Turtle.
Yeah, i should get some sleep... I'm starting to rant and rattle on.
I want to sleep without the dreams for once. It's always good to hope. :P
One full cycle...
One full cycle has gone and the events are repeating themselves again... but without that someone by my side this time. It has been rather difficult gazing at the fireworks this year...
If things ended 4 months ago, or 4 months later, it might have been easier to deal with i reckon. The road ahead isn't dark at all, yet i'm fearful of what i've to face again tomorrow...the day after...the week after...
I'm afraid that the next step might be too hard, and i'm afraid that Dorothy can't go on anymore...and perhaps, it's that fear that keeps me going, it's the thought of giving up that keeps me moving. I just can't face myself if I let who i've built myself to be collapse and crumble.
Some think i'm prideful, some don't understand why image is still so important at a time like this... It's not coz i think my friends will look down on me or think less of me as a person... To put it simply, i wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I succumb to those raging emotions and be tempted to give up on myself coz that's a downhill route.
I'm not using work or the numerous activities I have to numb myself...sometimes, i hate all the things i have to do coz i'm always so exhausted at the end of the day. Yet, I guess those are the things that keep me moving, and the exhaustion eliminate all the wonderings in my mind.
I still love D through it all...though i know he's not worth it anymore. But I've been loved before by some, although i didn't deserve those affection... Love's a difficult thing to understand.
I've made mistakes, and I'll accept the price I've to pay for them... and I'm trying my best to deal with my emotions rationally... Elaine said this to me many years ago and it stuck with me -"When in doubt, do what's right."
True, there's a fine line between right and wrong, and it's always based on our perspective in things. Hating may be right for some, but wrong for others. Crying may be acceptable to some, yet unacceptable to others, being destructive may be kinder to some, but vicious to others... it all comes down to differing beliefs and perspective.
I finally shared some truths with A...and he was rather shocked to find out that i've been lying to him all along...but i was forgiven rather easily still. We had a long talk that night and somehow, my heart felt a lil lighter and the burden's a lil easier. I had never believed that talking things out could relieve situations, unless you are certain that that person can give you a solution. But that night changed my perspective, and I'm thankful for him.
A friend i had a long time ago said this to me..."I will be there to pull you up when you fall, and even give you a free dusting of your knees." This must've been said almost 9 years ago but it still touches me everytime i think of that.
That's what friends are for isn't it?
To all my buddies... thanks for your support. Thanks for letting me pretend i'm cool and tough although you all know better. You understand that I need this time alone and not coz i don't trust you. You know my weaknesses and my idiosyncracies.
I know you'll always be there for me when i need that shoulder to cry on, or be my ranting can... Maybe i'll need that comfort someday...but for now, i think i can still hold on a lil longer... Thanks for understanding me enough to let me be.
I know you are all close by, all ready for that moment I turn to ask for help. 'Thank you' doesn't seem to express what i feel. I am truly blessed to have you as my friends... Thank you...from the bottom of my heart.
I miss him so
I miss the touch and feel of you...
I miss the way you relieve my frustration...
I miss your quiet companionship...
I miss the memories you brought to me...
I miss loving you the way i do...
I miss the journeys we've been together...
I miss how you pulled me through some bad times...
I miss going down break-neck speeds with you down the roads...
I miss the security you give me...
I miss you that outlet I've have in you when i need to escape...
I miss the times i've spent with you...
I'll be forever sorry that i gave you up, and the reason why i gave you up. I really did love you and i still do but no one really understands how much you meant to me.
Nobody will know how much I've fought to have you by my side, how much i've gone through to attain you... and how much it hurts to let you go.
And at a time like this, i miss you so much baby...i wish i can have you back at my side and have back the journeys i've had with you...
I'm a lil lost coz you were more a part of me than i imagined... and maybe that's one of the reasons why I don't feel complete anymore.
No one will be able to replace you.
Dive Redang (09Aug-11Aug07)
Here are the pics at last!
Amos stacking our gear into the baggage compartment of the bus
Notice the faces before we set off...? Scroll down for the faces after the journey
My exhausted look after the journey and after answering Guppy's question, "Is this Redang?" for the 5th time...
And Chris' and Amos' tired looks
Macho Guys carrying gear for the gals!
Setting out for first dive, woo hoo!
Guppy and Dollah (Our DM for the dives)
Guys doing what they do best...chatting up gals...
Guppy -Now you see her...
Now you don't...
Artistic Pic of Chris inverted... 'Changing your perspective of the world'
Group Pic after dives
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Me...the 'All Black' Diver
Sea Sick Guppy
Guys have 'chut chut' at night
Happy divers
Group Pic taken before 1st dive on 2nd day....look at my morning chao bin...hair still standing up...
Slacking and having coconuts in the cool beach breeze
Guppy and her swim dress
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Leisure divers on this trip (less me)
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One of my favourite fish... Yellow Boxfish (Apparently, only the male ones are bright yellow)
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Another beach shot
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Logging dives before boarding home-bound boat
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Turtles all packed and ready to go...
Till we meet again...
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Point of View
"It's funny how one thing happens
And it changes your whole point of view
Everything that seemed to matter
Gets cast aside for a better truth"
Work has been rather hectic these few days and i admit, it has been rather draining.
Met A.L. for Rush Hour 3 and dinner earlier...the show wasn't that bad but it did fall short of my expectation. It wasn't as funny as I had hoped for it to be, or maybe laughing hasn't been my strong trait anyway.
We talked quite a bit tonight but other than relating facts, I'm unable to articulate what i feel...coz...coz...I'm clueless.
I can't figure myself out sometimes, and if i can't, i doubt anyone else can. I can't talk myself through it, or make a mind-map out of it coz simply, i don't where to start...and is it even advisable to start pondering? Well...too many voices in my head...so I just end up not doing anything.
What can I do to ease the tension raging within if i can't find its root?
Whine, cry, rant, destroy things or get drunk?
Or bury myself in work, take it out on someone, immerse myseif in activities, date again or surround myself with friends?
None of the above seemed like a good idea. I just don't think it's wise, and I'll pretty much succumb to that weakness if i tried any of the above.
Other suggestions: Turn cold, become cynical, stop caring, never trust people easily again....
It may work in getting your defenses up so no one can hurt you again...but you'll just be pretty much alone eventually...can't love, can't hate, can't feel...
I guess I'm old enough to stand up on my own, get through the rain again. I don't need to deliberately find distractions coz none of that will make me a better person. Might as well look at every hurt in the straight on till they break and fade.
But doing that wears me down a bit... seems like battling on who'll back down first. I don't have enough confidence to bet that I'll win... but I'm gonna try real hard.
I've tried my best to be decent to D. True, i do get pissed when he comes up with childish actions and ball-less stunts to push the hurts deeper into me. There are times when there's an urge to thrash back, and make him hurt as well.
But what does that make me? I'll be a worse person than he is. That'll cost me more than the satisfaction of destroying someone... Not that i'm not saying it's not an extremely tempting thought at times.
Why does it matter to me that he keeps misunderstanding matters, or keeps accusing me of certain wrongs? I do wish he finds the truth somehow, but why...why does it matter to me that he finds the truth? Why does it matter what he thinks of me?
I don't have the answers to all these questions.
I just want to be more sensible and handle everything better now compared to what i did in the past so that i can face myself better when i wake up everyday. Losing trust in others and ceasing to love just isn't the way.
Ever felt tired of being sensible and struggling to do things right? Ever felt the urge to break-down and just let someone else lick your wounds? Wished there was an easier way around? I do sometimes...
There's a saying that goes, 'Hurt people, hurt people' = Those who hurt others, are people who are hurt.
I admit I've some hurts lurking around inside...but i'll try my utmost best not to hurt another this time. At least I'm working on it...
Corrinne May Medley
I know you've been through tough times.
Kicked around, thrown to the ground,
But you've always been the strong one.
So don't tell me that nobody gets you,
Coz i'm standing in your corner
Knocking at your door.
You don't have to be alone.
I'm not the easiest person to love
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved
Yet you choose to be on the side of me, on the side of me....
So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all,
I hope it's not too small
Losing myself, gaining it back again,
Forging strength in weakness, all that i am
All that i'm meant to be
Melting in Your hands...
It's funny how one thing happens
And it changes your whole point of view
Everything that seemed to matter
Gets cast aside for a better truth
....
With every step you're teaching me,
How to fall, cry, get up and smile...
I'm on my way, I'm on my way
There seems to be no end in sight,
But i know i'll be alright,
I'm on my way, i'm on my way
If I keep you in my sight,
I know i'll be alright...
Exhausted but Fulfilled
Paula (my boss) returned from her 2 week vacation today finally! We lazed in her office and caught up on each other lives amidst the pile of work waiting between us on her table... Boy, did i miss her!
Yeah, after the fantastic 1 hour chat, we had to dive into various meetings the whole of today till 6.30pm...ending with long lists of things to follow up on again. SIGHZ!
Had lunch with Melvin in between those meetings and we shared about our trips over the weekends, about life...etc. He shared about his life experiences and gave advice...at the same time, providing a listening ear. He's a treasure really...a great colleague, and more importantly, a great friend. Thanks Mel! I'll ponder more on what you said to me...thanks for being there when i needed it most...Can't wait for him, Qian and baby to come over to SG for a weekend!
I met D's mom after work. Though i was mostly apprehensive about meeting up, and tried to cancel it throughout the day... her insistence worked and defeated in the end, i drove to her place for dinner.
As we ate, she shared her life experiences with me, gave me the encouragement that i needed and the truths i had to learn. Some parts of what she shared fueled the anger in me for D, but who am i to judge him? True, he does need to grow up but it's sad how he breaks her heart all the time. Yet, i admire her strength of character and her relentless pursuit of God's ways. She's brought more blessings to me than i can count and i'll always be thankful.
With her permission, I said my goodbyes to Polar, Cow Cow and the Stormfit jacket that i loved. And as we walked out of D's room, the door closed behind us both figuratively and literally. Finally, that chapter had its closure. With her presence behind me, somehow, I feel that i could bear more than i thought.
We journeyed out and scouted around for a television set for D's grandparents and had a great time weaving through the crowds at Mustafa...apparently, when you put 2 directional idiots together...they get to places like experts! *grin*
Went down to D's grandparents' place after that tho it was rather late in the night to break the news of D & me to them. I thought i could do it smoothly but when i faced them, I just didn't know how to start so his mom did it for me.
His grandma held my hand while her eyes welled up in tears. It was simply heart-wrenching. To think I inflicted that pain in her...and perhaps, i will never forget that look of despair in her eyes. At that point, i wished there was some way i could take some of that pain away but i could only silently hold on to her hand...helpless.
She walked over to grand-dad and gave him the news as well... and he looked at me startled and demanded why in his usual brusque way. Again, i had no answers for him and that silence seemed like eternity.
I ended up joking a little about his leg injuries, egging him on to get well asap so that he can walk along the streets with me to help look out for new guys for me and he laughed. I will miss his laughter as well, infrequent they may be. He doesn't normally look at the person he talks to, but for the split moment we caught each others' eyes...the disappointment in them almost broke me down.
I had my closure today. Some of what happened tonight will always stay with me. I'm angry at D for not realizing how much they love him... and deep within me, i think the loss of this great family hurts so much more than letting D go.
We took our leave while his grandma held on to my hands through the gate grills...and i wished i never had to pry away and let go... but i did. The feeling was almost unbearable. I treasure every tear grandma cried for my failed relationship with D...and they weigh so heavily in my heart.
As i drove D's mom back later, she hugged me...for the first time. I told her that this is my final goodbye though she refused to accept it. If i don't exit this part of her and D's grandparents' lives... they will never give D's new-find full acceptance and all their love. This new gal deserves as much of their love as i did. And she deserves a brand new clean slate. This is the only thing i can leave her...their acceptance and love.
I'm not being unselfish, i'm not being noble. I just feel that she's totally innocent in this whole mindless game, and she just shouldn't be subjected to any shards of our failed relationship. This isn't her burden to bear, it's mine alone.
Exhausting day coz i only managed to catch 2hrs sleep yesterday, but somehow, i feel full again. I have put down what i needed to put at rest.
The loss of the ones i've come to regard as family was the most difficult part. But i owe them the truth though I will miss them so.
I hope he grows up this time
It's been a few fruitful days...with a real 'great' surprise at the end of today.
Sometimes, I feel the disappointments D threw my way have already hit THE all time low...but it's surprising how much lower he can get. Any lower, he'll probably end up 6 feet under...
I'm embarrassed to admit that i've trusted such a person, and in a way, it's my own daftness believing that he's a better person than he really is. For awhile, i wanted to inflict some physical pain on that person, within 3 secs of thinking that...it's really not worth bruising my knuckles over it.
All the empty promises of not being able to love again for a long time, never getting over his own hurdle ever again.... now to think back on it...how spineless can you get? Gosh...
I met up with G after the incident and we laughed alot over the things that may befall him. G even made me climb the monkey bars...at midnight...in the drizzle! Grr... but every bar i grasped, i thought about how much leeway i've given to D and wanted to hit myself for it (but i can't...coz i was hanging onto the bars for my dear life)!
Like G said, "What goes around, comes around." It's my stupidity for not seeing it any sooner.
D, I hope you grow up soon. Perhaps you'll finally learn to love someone other than yourself. Although, you know...at this age, it's rather pathetic that you can't stand being alone.
Oops, i seem spiteful huh? Sheesh...can't help it.
But...i really woke up today and the blinders fell after talking to G. D's such a loser sometimes...and to think he's already 25, going on 26! Well, i'm sure he can't get any worse than what he is now...so that's a bright spark in life isn't it?
Dreams attack!
Haven't been sleeping well these days coz i keep having really really weird dreams...
I think guppy may be right...i'm going crazy!
But just a point of interest...i thought i'll share them so you know how crazy i really am. :P
Dream 1 (first night of redang dive trip)Dreamt of this plump gal with an irritating face. I've no idea who she was except that she's my bro's friend. Came to my place, took my things and borrowed my Hsia's books... and dog-eared them. So Hsia was demanding that she pay for the damanges (in real life, Hsia doesn't) and i was trying to get that girl to pay up. She was rather nasty though, and tore up the remaining books to make her point... And well...i took her by the collar, slapped her a few times...................ok, i'm scary...
Well, anyway...the point was, i was so frustrated in the dream, i started thrashing around in bed (maybe i was starting to enjoy hitting her) and Chris who was next to me was the innocent victim. Hope he didn't get any bruises. :P
Dream 2 (Night of dive trip return, 11 Aug 07)Dreamt that D has been lying about some things, and decided to meet him at some carpark at an abandoned army camp. He was 30mins late, and zoomed in in a new turquoise blue suzuki swift sport. Well...apparently, he wasn't very forthcoming with me during my interrogation till i whipped out my dive knife, pressed it to his throat, with my knees near his crotch area... then all the answers started pouring out. I was pretty cool in the dream...give him a punch to his jaw, walked to the car and drove away. But in that dream, my heart felt as if it broke into pieces...and i woke up crying...before i realized it was all a dream. Yet, all the answers he gave me in the dream fitted the loopholes perfectly.
Dream 3 (Aug 12, 11am)I was talking to D in my kitchen in my Serangoon house... from the window, there was a flood (ok, doesn't make sense, but it was a dream ok?). We saw a polar bear trying to get into the window and it was pretty huge. So instinctively, i grabbed my fins and pulled D with me giving him a breakdown on how to get away from the bear (in my dream, i remembered that polar bears were rather vicious at times). But... well, after our attempt to escape, i was caught while D just succeeded in getting out of the window... and was dragged to dry land downstairs...(ok, stop laughing!)
And...the polar bear stood to full height and HUGGED ME! wahaha... he said he was devastated that i didn't remember him. He made his grandma polar bear take him all the way from where he was, rode onto the EAC (East Asia Current) just to look for me... He said he was feeling so down coz his gf just left him and he has been losing weight (he pointed to his flat tummy at this point) then give me a bear hug (pun intended)and started sobbing miserably. The weird thing is, i cried with him for awhile, cooed him, and even started singing a song to him to console him...!
AND...RING RING! my phone rang and i woke up... it was guppy on the line...
And since she was the first person i talked to right after the dream, i told her about it....
Now she thinks i'm going nuts and threatened to throw out all the polar bears in my room before i deteriorate any further. :P But she said she still loves me anyway...YIPPEE!
Ok, that's all on my narration of dreams...scary huh? Maybe i'm really going mad...but i've always been a lil mad anyway so no one really notices.
Trust Broken
Some matters occured this evening while i was on the way back from Malaysia and I was surprised how fast anger and disappointment consumed me this time round and it really put a bad note on the end of my Redang dive trip (will update this trip's photos soon when guppy send them to me).
I haven't been so pissed with someone in a long while coz well, mostly, i'm the ROC (Relac One Corner) sort...or he so often puts it, "unfeeling".
Along the drive back from Golden Mile...while trying to calm myself down, I tried to see things in his perspective and realized that being kind has never been an innate nature of his. *grin* It was my bad for taking all his kind and loving acts (which certainly didn't come easy) for granted umpteen times, assuming that's normal human nature.
It was definitely easy to trust him to carry out his promises in the past, and I guess it was a rather painful blow to realize that I've lost some parts of my trust in him along the way unknowingly.
As I was just moving things around my room earlier, the picture of us that I have yet to take down from my shelf stared back at me. We looked so ridiculously happy then... and for a few moments, I was brought back to those memories, smiling back at the people in the picture...wishing to hold on just a little more. But yes, don't worry, I snapped back to reality. :P
I've always thought that it was more painful when someone loses their trust in me rather than me losing my trust in someone. But I'm wrong again. The grieve is just about the same.
I guess these are the little things that you learn everyday that makes you stronger. The pain that forces you to grow up. But sometimes, it's just a lil harder than usual.
Road Trip to JB!
Drove into JB with Melvin, Kexin and Mona on last fri, 03 Aug and stayed over till Sat.
Melvin and Kai Qian (his wife) were a pair of unbeatable hosts...Firstly, both of them put tremendous effort into the planning prior to our visit, and they extended hospitality unmatched by any so far...bringing us to all the great places to makan and shop...giving up their personal space (coz we bunked in their huge room), sacrificing rest time (sleeping only 4hrs each)...
Oh ya...another reason why they slept so little was coz they helped me bring my car to get waxed, polished and groomed early on Sat morn while i was still snoring away like a donkey! Who won't be touched by their gesture?
A very very very big THANK YOU Mel & Qian! Too bad we didn't have enough time to play with Zheng Heng... we'll definitely do so next time (by waking up earlier!)
Some pics of the event...
Can you spot the 5 nuts in this pic? (Kexin, Me, the peanut in my hand and the 2 coconuts on the table
Yum...Cleavage!
Mona and Me...with coconuts again...
Na and some shellfish thingy...
Night Shopping @ Danga Bay (and yes, i admit i was tip-toeing...all in the name of aesthetic composition of the pic ok?
Such a beautiful couple right?
Day 2 -Breakfast...Kway Teow Kia (like Kway Chap but with kway tiao)
My newly washed, polished and waxed car!
Our last meal in JB for this trip...Ba Kut Teh, super yum! P.S. The straw mushrooms made me think of you...
I can't wait to go back manz...! Never had this much fun in JB! Haven't had so much fun in awhile liao...
After JB, i went straight for a BBQ with all the staff of scubahub...no pics but it was roaring fun.... afterwhich i went to a friend's place to watch a movie and had chats... it was probably about 6am before i crawled home to bed...*yawn*
Have been atrociously busy at work these days...and one of the highlights was going to the Mercedes Benz office and showroom to scout for an event venue with Celeste...and... the marketing manager showed us around and even let us into the exclusive lounge to touch the 1.5mil MayBach parked inside! Woot! The only downside was driving a Vios into a carpark full of Mercedes Benz... sighz.
Ok, i'm off to bed now! So exhausted these past few days coz of all the activities, work...etc. YAWN! Will blog more when i get back from my Redang trip end of this week.
Tata for now!
可惜不是你
这一刻 突然觉得好熟悉
像昨天 今天同时在放映
我这句语气 原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据
差一点 骗了自己骗了你
爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气 但我无法完全交出自己 努力为你改变
却变不了 预留的伏线 以为在你身边 那也算永远
彷佛还是昨天
可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔 那一段 我们曾心贴著心
我想我更有权力关心你
可能你 已走进别人风景
多希望 也有 星光的投影
努力为你改变
却变不了 预留的伏线
以为在你身边 那也算永远
彷佛还是昨天
可是昨天 已非常遥远
但闭上双眼 我还看得见
可惜不是你 陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你 牵过我的手
还能温暖我胸口This is for you...Thank you D.
Blast from the Past
Recently I found my external hard disk that i bought more than a year ago lying in dust... And I recalled i had bought it to back up all the data from my old notebook before selling it...
Out of curiousity, I took a look at the files i had...files that i have totally forgotten about...And found some pics of what used to be, and realized how much I have changed, how much people around me have changed....Enjoy.
Rock-Climbing 2004 
Convocation 2005 
Phuket 2005 with flower, goat and turtle
Work 2006
Diving 2006 when almost every trip had Evie and P in it
Aug 10, 2006 -I've found him...unexpectedly, unintentionally...
I still miss his kisses -No prizes for the correct guess of whose
Back to Diving again
That's all for now...I'm back in the open sea chasing my dolphins...
Thinking back, the last few years have been absolutely fabulous...I've learnt to open up to love and be loved and that's what everyone should learn in life.
True, at times it hurts when you've lost people you loved, be it friends or lovers. But I'm sure when i look back a year later, I'll be glad that I've experienced all these different taste of life, bitter, sweet, bittersweet...
Diaoz...thank you as well. I know it wasn't always just a dream.
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